Inspiration Station March 2012 – The Responsible One

March 8, 2012

This post is not the usual Inspiration Station. I’m not in the bead mindset. I’m still working on a new embroidery piece, but the past few days have thrown me off.

This is a rant. Some days my mind hops on the tangent train and it’s an express.  One concern links to another and the logic progression goes wild.  Today was one of those days.

One of my 2012 goals was to keep in touch with people as often as possible. Not just e-mail, but sitting down and talking. Face to face. There is nothing like seeing a person, watching their body language, sharing some laughs.

Well, I tried to do that today to meet some people tomorrow (Friday) since I would be working and in the city. One person wasn’t free until late in the evening. Then another group invited me to join them-at 7PM. For me, that’s late. It takes a little over an hour to return home, so if we’re not starting up until 7, I’m not making it home before 10. Logically, it is what it is. Sometimes schedules work, sometimes not. My logic brain got it. My emotional side, not so much.

Why can’t I  see my friends on their schedule? Why am I stuck being the responsible one that always has to be home right after work? Why did I leave my cool apartment where it was 15 minutes and poof! back home with no one waiting up?  At some point they’re going to write me off.

I don’t have a ton of friends. When I find trustworthy people I hold on to them.  It’s difficult to maintain relationships when schedules and obligations become too onerous. Naturally, the tangent train skipped a few stops then landed on romance.

As a matter of fact, at this rate forget about dating. You can’t even get your butt to happy hour. Never mind that; no guy is going to be bothered with someone who has to be part-time caretaker, is unable to have kids, and not exactly built like a starlet. Being responsible, with a great personality does nothing. Personality does not attract guys. Personality puts you in “you’re like a sister” category. Which means you’re not attractive. You do remember how many times you’ve heard that line? Maybe it’s a blessing you’re not going out so much. Less chance you slip up after meeting some guy and say something to merit the “sister” speech.The only guy that found you attractive was the one that wasn’t right for you in the end.

The tangent train kept rolling.

Listen, you’re the responsible one. You know why you gave up that apartment-you were losing it anyway. Who else is going to help them? You’re making their lives a little easier–you’re being a good daughter. You’ll get your reward in heaven.

Yeah, it sucks that you’ll have to wait till then.

That’s how the tangent train runs. Don’t know how long this funk will last.


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