Inspiration Station – November 2012

November 24, 2012

Whew! Feels like forever since the last episode.  Well, I have a few things to chat about:

1. Thanks to my friends at NDBMedia for joining me last month. “Open Mic” was a hit, and it looks like I’m doing it again next week. For those who haven’t listened in the archive, my “Open Mic” show was a bit of this and a bit of that. We talked about some of my favorite things/performers. Then touched on the shenanagins on one of my guilty pleasures “My Fair Wedding with David Tutera.”

2. The infamous refrigerator is still working. So far, so good. 😀

3. We survived Hurricane/Superstorm Sandy. The park in my town had many fallen trees. No one was allowed to walk through for a few weeks. Fortunately our power held, but lost cable for 2 weeks. My mom’s phone equipment was badly damaged as well.  The good news is Mom got a free upgrade to fiber optic equipment, so her phone is clear as a bell. Good job Verizon!

4. My excercise regimen hit the skids. Between a minor foot injury, being out of the office due to the storm, and other craziness, I’ve only gotten in two workouts over the past two weeks.  My body is letting me know it ain’t happy: the infamous stomach spasms have returned. 😦  So come Monday, back to running.

As for the new and exciting:

My client is getting married next year. (Yay!) After watching her dash about planning her engagement party, my collegue asked if I ever saw myself getting married.  I said yes, if I met the right  guy.  I posted this on my FBook page, and received some interesting responses:

“I think marriage is overrated. There’s a perception of what it SHOULD be and then the reality of what it actually is.”

“Don’t do it Roz. I’m as content as can be and on top of that, I have no children. Oh of course a lot of people will say how much they love their children and they are happy they had some but their minuses are my pluses. My pluses include no alimony. No 50%. No schoolbook purchases. No lawyers aka sharks. No name-calling after the fact/vows. No lies for the sake of the children.

My minuses? Listening to all of that from the miserable saps who made that stupid mistake in the first place. I’m not lonely. Got LOTS of friends. All I know is the bathroom is always free and the only nagging/whining my ears pick up on is an accidental channel change to FOX NEWS.”

“… as far as children, I’ve seen it firsthand where these kids are not loving and appreciate, they are self absorbed products of entitlement. It would break my heart to have my kid turn out like that, and I’ve never regretted otherwise. I don’t have alot of friends as my experiences with people are that they usally disapoint you and the guard is up, but I dont get lonely.”

As for marriage I agree but I know that when people have their children nothing else matters. All their priorities in life change. All they have to go through on the bad side of it may be worth to them. For me, I was close to marrying once and I’m glad I didn’t, it would have been a disaster!”

“Just me, but I have been happily married 13 years, would never go back. You will know if it’s the right one.”

Guess what? The happily married person–female.  Is avoidance of marriage a male thing? According to popular theory, we women are supposed to be “nesters”, seeking a harmonious home environment for our mate and offspring.  Men are  supposedly the “hunters”, fighting for sustenance to support mate and offspring.   Men also have the freedom to walk away if not satisfied and take another mate. (Nowadays, that freedom comes with a price, called “legal fees”.)

Another troubling aspect of this relationship/marriage debate is the guys who can’t let go. In the past few months, there have been a dearth of news stories regarding men who can’t give up their wife/girlfriend. They beat them, then when the woman finally gets the courage and opportunity to leave, the asshole stalks her, and attempt to or succeeds in killing her.

If she doesn’t love you any longer, let her go. Are mens’ egos that fragile? Is it something in the brain that snaps? Is it the “machismo” culture? Is it religion?

When I say “machismo” it doesn’t refer only to Hispanic men. Black, white, Asian,  & Middle Eastern men who abuse their wives all have that same “You’re mine bitch” attitude.  Where is it coming from?

Now I’m certainly not putting it all on the guys. Some of my fellow women are drama magnets. They use the children as pawns, cheat on their husbands, manipulate and threaten. I wonder where that comes from too.

And yes, my own parents are divorced.My dad did some crap he shouldn’t have–and karma bit him in the butt for it.

So, considering all of the above–would  I get married?

I gotta say “yes”.  Why? Because if I become that cynical, “Jesus is my boyfriend” type, I sentence myself to a miserable life.  Realistically, men my age may not be interested, for various reasons. (Family obligation, inability to have children, not a perfect “10” and I’m over 40.) Yet I have to believe there just might be someone who gets where I’m at, and is willing to be a little flexible.

We shall see.


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